Missing Friends

So I'm having one of those moments where I miss my friends quite a bit. Missing someone is such a strange feeling really. It feels so bitter sweet. You are filled with such love for the person, but at the same time, there's an ache in your heart that just yearns to have them back close to you.

Many of my friends have left for the time being. Some are coming back eventually, others are not. For all of them, I can confidently say that I will probably see them again. It's just an odd time because not only is it summer and many are going on trips or summer jobs/internships, but I've also graduated college and many of my friends are now moving to different cities for jobs, grad school or med school.

With this knowledge of moving and departure, many of these dear friends and I made it a priority to spend time with each other during their last few days, whether that was getting an excellent dinner and talking for a long while, or watching a movie together and staying up late. Yet, sometimes it feels so counter-intuitive once they leave because you're then thinking, "I feel like I miss you even more now."

Hm..... these are just my feelings and musings about missing someone. It's interesting because I was sitting alone in my apartment, reading and doing things, and the emotion hit me. After a while, I finally decided to get up and visit a friend who I knew was home. The second I walked out my door, I saw other friends and neighbors who were just arriving home. We all began talking and laughing together, sharing stories and experiences, and saying how we needed to hang out and spend time with one another. And so, while I missed many dear friends, it felt good to know I still had people nearby who I could be with and feel close to.

As I get older, I continuously see how important it is to feel close to people. I love having people around.Sure,  I like my alone time and need it, but I also really love having people around. I love people. And many times, I just like to bring my computer over to someone's house, talk about our days, and go about our usual activities, whether that's playing an online game, reading or blogging. Being physically close to another human being is so valuable and I think something we search for constantly. I'm a quality time person, so I will always value having good, deep conversations and focused time, but I've also grown to love the time when I can just sit next to a person, or hug someone deeply, and feel their warmth.

And I think that if we aim to have close friends, ones where we are comfortable hugging one another, having deep conversations, and just sometimes being around one another, then we'd feel less of a need to always being dating someone or going to other remedies to fix our loneliness. The times where I feel the most fulfilled and less of that need for a boyfriend, are the times where I am surrounded my great friends, both men and women, who spend time with me and help support me.

So I guess the bottom line is, I miss my really awesome friends.. But at the same time, I'm happy many of them are following their dreams, and I even feel encouraged watching them. So while there's an ache in my heart as I miss their presence, I am also hopeful and fulfilled by watching them pursue their dreams and feeling encouraged by them from afar.