It came as a surprise to me as I accidentally stumbled upon it once again. I had to sign onto Google Blogger in order to comment on a blog for class. Trying to figure out how to post the comment, I just put in my email and began puzzling how to do it all. That's when the site logged me onto a profile that I was like, "Wait... what?" and I discovered this blog that I had created oh so long ago.
At first, I thought I must only have had one post. I thought, "Meh... sounds like me. Put one post and totally forget about it." Then, as I looked through, I saw that I had four, which surprised me. And they were a lengthy four. That didn't surprise me (I tend to write a lot. lol.). I read through each one and realized that I had actually put some thought into my posts. They were interesting to see what I had put oh so many months ago. The memories would come back to me and I was like, "Hm... oh yes. I remember that. Wow... I really did have those thoughts back then." Then I wondered: do I still now?
You have to realize, it's been about 9 months since I last posted. Almost exactly 9 months to the date. I feel like I'm a different person than I was back then, but still contain some of the same thoughts and feelings. However, I handle those thoughts in a different way now.
I feel calmer in a way. I feel more content with my views on life and current situation. Then again, I'm now back on my own in college, preparing to go off to a missions trip and loving the feeling of adventure and independence. God and I have also gotten much closer. I've begun to know Him in a whole new way and a whole new light. It's incredible really, and I really feel blessed. I've supposed I've matured a bit too and learned many new things in the past 9 months. Nine months seem long, but in retro speck of my entire lifetime, it really is no time at all. And yet, so much changes not only in your life, but in yourself as well. Here are some examples:
I led a Bible Study and actually brought a few people closer to God. Definitely wouldn't have even thought I could have done that last year.
Many of the friends I had last year, I'm not as close with this year. Even my view on friends has changed.
I went to a Navajo Reservation and helped build a house in a week. I had barely picked up a hammer before that time.
I dated a guy that was in the Navy ROTC program. I learned a lot about the military and about relationships once again.
I was brought down to my knees before God, telling how Him how sucky I am, but I'd take any amount of grace or mercy He could give me. I knew I didn't deserve crap, but I just kept saying, "I'll take anything you can give me. Anything. Any scrap. Please." and I begged and I begged.
I finally got something.
I got into the Art Program that I wanted to in school.
I drew naked people for the first time.
I actually read a book in the Bible. And not just one book, but a COUPLE books.
I'm almost done with all four gospels.
I actually began attending a church... regularly.
I bought somewhat stylish clothes.
I got rid of the layers in my hair.
People actually began coming to ME for prayer and spiritual guidance.
I'm going on a missions trip to live with poorer communities.
I really like hobos.
I have no clue what I'm gong to be doing with my life, but I'm excited.
And that's just a few things off the top of my head.
So here's to the past 9 months. The past 9 months I didn't tell you about and that I didn't even document for myself. But you know, who really cares? I doubt this blog got a lot of views. It's just been here, floating in cyberspace, waiting for me to come across it once again. Oh well.
And here's another toast: to us, you and me, me and you. Hopefully, this relationship will continue and we won't forget each other. Who knows... we'll see.
Here goes nothing.
