We Digital People

Ironic I'm positing it, but I love it.

People Help The People

I really love this video:

People Help The People by Birdy

Your Faith Can Move God

Do you believe that God can truly do anything? 

I sat down and began to read my Bible this morning and was flipping through Matthew. I read Matthew 8 - 9 and came across stories that I knew pretty well: such as when Jesus cleanses a leaper, the faith of a centurion and his suffering servant, Jesus healing a paralytic and forgiving his sins, a woman bleeding for 12 years and being healed by Jesus and then Jesus healing a ruler's daughter, and then Jesus healing 2 blind men. 

As I read most of these stories, I saw a theme. Each person had a specific request of Jesus and each approached Jesus stating, "I know you can do this." And each time, Jesus did as they said. And he did so in a very specific way according to what they had said. 

I first saw it with the centurion with his great faith. He approaches Jesus and requests that Jesus heals one of his servants. Jesus says, "OK. I'll go." But the centurion presses on. "No, wait. I know I'm not worthy of you. I know that if you say he is healed right here and now, he WILL be healed at this very moment. I also have authority over people and know what a small amount of power is like." Jesus is surprised at this answer, but also pleased. He replies, "I haven't met anyone with faith like you." and then says "Let it be done for you as you have believed". And the servant is healed right then and there, just as the centurion had requested of Jesus. 

The next were with the woman bleeding for 12 years and the ruler's daughter. The bleeding woman ran after Jesus and thought, "If I just touch his garment, I will be healed". In Mark 5, it talks about how the instant she touched his garment, the blood dried up. Jesus felt his power leave him and turned to face the woman and told her that her faith has made her well. Again, it happened just in the way she believed it would happen. 

And with the ruler's daughter, the ruler exclaimed to Jesus that if Jesus just laid his hand on his daughter, she would be raised from the dead. When Jesus encounters the daughter, he picks up the daughter's hand with his hand and indeed, she becomes alive. Again, it was just as the ruler had believed.

It was with this story, that I saw the pattern of people specifically stating Jesus's power and him carrying through, just as they had stated. And these people didn't just say, "I WANT you to do this." or "I WISH you could do this."  They said to him, "I KNOW you can do this. I BELIEVE you can do this." I then thought, "God does as we believe He can do. And in a specific way too." 

My thoughts were then confirmed when I read the story of the 2 blind men. They approach Jesus and ask for mercy. Jesus asks, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" They reply "Yes Lord". And he then says, "According to your faith be it done to you." 

After I read these passages, I was reminded that I need to continue to pray with faith that my Lord, God can do anything and be specific about my needs and my belief in his power. Many of us easily say, "God can do anything." But when it comes to actually asking God to do big and crazy things, we hesitate. We say, "But what if God does NOT do it? I'll be disappointed." That's when you just have to trust God that He knows what He is doing. But this can easily get into a whole other tangent about God's will and trusting in His faithfulness and wisdom. 

I want to stick to specifically talking about faith and asking God for big and specific things. We may be afraid that He won't do it, but that doesn't lessen your faith in that you KNOW He can do it. In my own personal life, some of my most powerful prayers were where I specifically stated, "God, I believe you can do this. I know you can do." And I often say, "I believe. I believe" over and over again. 

My first experience with prayer like this was when I was about in 4th grade. I actually remember reading a book that said, "If you just believe, anything can happen." So as a 11-year old, I gave it a shot. There was a festival at my school and the famous $50 dollar money tree was going to be raffled off. I always wanted to win it and just thought $50 was so much money as a 11 year old. So I bought about 10 tickets and put them in. There were 100s of other tickets already in, and I remember thinking, "OK. I believe I'm going to win. I really do. I believe." About an hour later, after certain performances, they announced they would be drawing the winner for the money tree. I remember bringing my knees up in my chair and bowing my head and saying over and over again, "I believe. I believe. I believe. God, I believe I will win. Come on God. They will pull a ticket with my name on it. I believe." I sat there for a few minutes, saying those words over and over again. They pulled out a ticket and....

I won. 

I was pretty excited and my whole day was made right then and there. I think ever since that moment, I walked away with something that was worth way more than $50. I walked away with a firm belief that if I just believed, anything could happen. 

Now as I've gotten older, praying like that can be hard to do and doubts seem to ran sack my mind often. But there are times, where I have prayed like that and it's an amazing and powerful experience. You just often have to reach down in yourself and find that source that says, "Anything can happen." It may feel child-like or you may even feel silly, but it's an important part of you. God put it there because He says, "I CAN make anything happen." When we put our faith and believe in God, He moves to action and can really move mountains and do just about anything.  

God Smacked Me Over the Head

I'll keep this pretty brief. It was a quick, but yet a powerful conversation with God.

It was as I was working on some planning with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship about the upcoming semester. My staff leader began asking me about my decision to apply for the InterVarsity internship. I told him my story about how I wanted more in life and as I analyzed myself and prayed about it and just thought over many things, I realized that while I devoted half my life to art, the other half was devoted to ministry. I'm fascinated with the art, but I feel like the thing that tugs at my heart is ministry. Devoting myself to other people and loving them in the way that Jesus does fulfills me like nothing else. And when I had prayed about it, I just felt like God say, "Why not? Just try it. Fill it out and see what happens."

So I filled it out. And it was quite an emotional and intense process. I reflected on myself and the past three years I've given to doing ministry. And even if I don't get the internship, I, myself got to acknowledge that I HAD poured myself into other people and to spreading God's love. Even if no one else agreed with me, I'd gotten to write down and see my own efforts and acknowledge them. And acknowledge my current efforts as well.

So back to the planning and conversation about why I chose to do the internship. As we talked, the conversation shifted to someone else and a different topic. And for some reason, some word triggered a thought that floated into my mind: 'What if they think I'm not suited for the job?' And with that one thought, an onslaught of other thoughts came: What if he thinks I'm ill prepared? What if he thinks my heart isn't in the right place? What if he thinks my reasons aren't good enough? What if I don't know my theology well enough? Crap, I don't think I answered that one question right or serious enough. No one will think I'm ready to be an intern. They'll all think I'm not qualified. Or that I'm naive.

And on and on the thoughts went.

I began to feel upset and then turned my thoughts to God. "Lord?" I said, "Am I not qualified? Will I not get the internship?" And that's when I got a frustrated reply:

"Why do you care if people think you're qualified or not?!?! Isn't it enough that I ASKED you to fill out the form? Isn't it enough that I chose you to do the job?!? Why are you so worried about what other people think about you?! They do NOT determine your worth. I DO!!!"

And a quote that I really like then floated into my head "God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called." God then repeated, "It doesn't matter if you're qualified or not. Ready or not. It only matters that I asked you to do it. You had peace about whether you were to get the internship or not. Because you knew that I would be guiding you and that's all you cared about. Stop worrying about what others think of you. My voice and power reigns higher than anyone else. You will go where you need to be. I know you're willing to follow. So stop worrying. I will take care of the rest."

With that firm reprimand, I decided to stop thinking about what others thought of my decision to apply for the internship. I had to remember that while maybe the whole world could think I'm ill qualified for the job, if God told me to go, I would still go. And I may face obstacles by other people, and that may deter me here or there, but I want to go where God is leading me.

And if I'm honest, I feel like I have kept worrying about other peoples' opinion of me for a long time now. And I can honestly say, it's probably an attack by the devil. I'm not one to blame the devil for everything, but the way these thoughts sometimes shoot through my head, especially when I'm about to make a big commitment to God, are just too inconvenient. I remember when I was a young Christian, just starting out, I kept thinking, "These people will find out that I'm not as Christian as them. They'll find out I'm nowhere near on their level. I'm not a 'good Christian' like the rest of them."

Someone then had to confront me and say: "There's no such thing as a good Christian Hannah." 

When it comes to design, I sometimes think people find my designs ugly or unsatisfactory. People tell me over and over again though that I have a real talent.

At work, I remember thinking that I must be the only one who gets confused and frustrated with my boss. Am I just not understanding the work criteria? Am I just missing something? Do I just not get it?

My co-worker Andrew had to comfort me at one point and say: "Hannah, I don't always like the way you get treated at work. You're doing a great job and I hope I can help you out more often. I'm praying about it. All the things you're going through, we all go through too." A huge relief was lifted off my shoulders. I was finally able to take my work problems and just leave them at work. My inadequate performance wasn't due to mine own personal inability. I just still needed to find other solutions to make things work and continue to push myself. And if I still failed, then that was OK. 

And I suppose everyone goes through it. The doubts we have about everyday life. The fears we have to battle. I know for myself, I'm really hard on myself. If something doesn't go right, I blame myself right off the bat. I look at my own abilities and skills and say, "How did I mess this up? How could I improve?"  I actually have to learn to stop, and try to tell myself it's OK to mess up. And most of all, it's not my fault. Well, not entirely anyways. 

I feel as if God is continuing to tell me that it's OK to just be me. He knows I have faults and weaknesses, but He'll take care of those. My real worth comes from Him and Him alone. And God is the only person I want to be with. My heart yearns for him. He's polishing me right now so that when I get to be with him, I'll be a even more beautiful gem than the one he originally created. 

This post is longer than I thought it would be. It's messy and unorganized. I would apologize, but nah... this is just who I am. Take it or talk to the Lord about it. haha. 

Later. :)