Facebook is a great tool to communicate and stay in touch with friends, especially friends that are far away, whether they're in another state, or across the world. And while I love this about Facebook, I've begun to feel like it has a negative effect on my current friendships, specifically the ones where we live in the same city.
You see, even though I may not personally see the people, I can just know what's going on in their lives through Facebook. Click on there Facebook page and I can see whether they are dating someone or not, see what vacation trips they've been on, and know what their major is and their religious beliefs in a matter of seconds. Why bother seeing you face to face when I can read all about your life right then and there? I mean, I could give you a phone call and ask how you're doing, but your status updates tell me all the time how you're doing and whether you're having a good day or a bad day or how your co-worker screwed you over and what not. So, why do I need to even go out of my way and actually try contacting you? That can be awkward and requires me to use social skills. Um... no thanks.
But as I sit here and type away, I've also been reflecting on my week and how lonely I felt this past week. I had just finished being at home with my family for 2 weeks and came back to my empty apartment. When I'm home, it feels like I always have someone to hang out with, especially over the summer since none of us have school. So I'm usually with my brother all the time, and then my parents come home in the evenings and we usually sit and talk, or make dinner, or watch a movie. When my sister isn't working or out, she and I will do stuff too. Someone is just always present and nearby. Heck, sometimes I even talk to my 2 dogs and play with them. But coming home to an empty apartment felt sad and bothered me. Sure, I enjoy being alone every now and then, but every day by myself was just saddening. And yes, I had friends who I spent time with during the day, but at the end of the day, I had no one to come home to and just be with. I like being in the presence of other people.
So with that, as I glanced at my 450 friends on Facebook, I realized that I didn't really want someone writing on my wall or liking my photos. Sure, on my birthday, it feels good to have 100 or so friends post on my wall. But what I really wanted was to see my really good friends and have dinner with them. I wanted to laugh with people and to REALLY laugh out loud and not just type "lol". I wanted to ask them how they're day has been going and hear the miniscule details of their day. I especially appreciated the people who called me on my birthday and talked to me, if only for a few minutes.
So now I challenge you to ask yourself who your friends really are. Are they the ones that post on your wall all the time or the ones who you share the most photos with? Or are they the ones who don't even have to have a Facebook because you're right there, experiencing things with them and talking to them.
Don't get me wrong. I do have really good friends who I communicate through Facebook and email with, and most of them are in other states or ridiculously far away. I will not say our friendship is any worse or less. Some of those distant friends I am very close with and do care about them deeply. But I just feel convicted to stop relying on Facebook and other social networks sites for my other friendships. I have a phone who I can call people with and actually have a conversation with. I can meet up with people and spend time with them. People who I can hug and share a laugh or a cry with, and look straight into their eyes. That's a human connection.
Facebook is a great tool for many things, but I want to stop being lazy and using it as an excuse. I want to get off my computer and off my butt and actually go see people. I won't say "Well, no one comes sees me". Friendships are a give & take. What if we all actually seriously tried going out of our way for each other and visiting one another? Giving each other phone calls? Stop hiding behind your computer and Facebook profile, and get out and have some actual friends. I'm going to give it a try and do it.
