Yet, there was at one point where the trail just seemed to stop and I couldn't figure out where it picked up again. I wandered and looked around, but couldn't find it. So I stood there for a moment, not sure where to go, and realized my position. I was surrounded by cacti, mountains, rocks, and dead bushes, without a car, human, and building in site. It was an odd feeling. Part of me wanted to be scared and run back to my vehicle at once. The other part wondered if this is how people used to do it: just stand in the middle of nowhere and continue forward, without knowing their position or who they would run into. That part felt pretty cool actually. Those were the people that created the trail. And they never worried about cell phone service or internet connection. They were brave and self-reliant.
Again, the feeling of intimidation and fear did creep up a little bit. The idea of being stranded in the middle of nowhere did not please my common senses. But to my adventurous side, it was exciting. I wondered if I should continue further? Maybe explore a bit more till I find the trail again? Or maybe, just continue on without a trail. Risky, but also exciting.
Perhaps I should view most of my problems in such a manner. Instead of a "Oh no! This is horrible!", I should say, "Another challenge. Here we go!" How often are we left worrying about things that will go wrong? How often do we feel like there is no way out? This reminds me of an argument I got in with my father the other week over my car. I had it checked out, only to find there was a crack in the radiator. I was about to head for a long journey the next day and realized that a cracked radiator would be very bad for this sort of trip. (Well, to be honest, I didn't know anything or any of the consequences. I just felt like I should get it fixed as soon as possible.) Long story short, I figured out a solution. Maybe not the best one, but the one that was the cheapest and only way possible at the time. I then decided to call my father and tell him of the matter. I mean, he is my dad, so maybe I should let him in on my life and pray he'll give me some money. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, right?
Wrong.
My father was happy to hear from me, but once he heard my radiator was cracked and that I still planned on driving the car on the trip, he yelled at me and told me I couldn't do it. He seemed to miss the whole bit of "But don't worry Dad. I plan on fixing it. I can get it fixed." He was just so focused on how I couldn't drive the car and how I wasn't listening to him and being stubborn. And once he heard my plan on how to fix it, he still criticized me, "Where do you think you'll find a radiator this late in the day? And one of your guy friends fix it? Give me a break Hannah!" At that point, I was just about ready to hang up. I was going to continue on with the plan, whether my dad liked it or not. He just seemed so focused on one path and told me how I needed to take it in to get it fixed and I needed to wait. The conversation ended, and I got the car fixed. My father called back later and apologized. He was still a bit annoyed, but it was still an apology. He said I got lucky again and we left it at that. The car worked great and everything turned out alright.
And even if the car ended up not working. Even if on the trip, something went wrong and I couldn't drive the car, it wouldn't be the end of the world right? Sure, it's a car and yes, it would be stupid to just ruin it after I've had it only for such a little time. But I still think I, personally, would be OK. I still wanted to try the solution and was willing to take responsibility. It would be a lesson learned on my part, but it would be on MY part. And I could at least say that I tried to fix the car and tried to do the right thing, but stuff just didn't turn out right. I'd learn my lesson and be done with it.
Maybe it's a parent thing: they want you to stick to the safe and pre-made route. But as the adventurer, you can't help but go, "Is it OK if I deviate from the path a bit? Or in fact, can I create my own trail?" And if we get lost, confused, or just stuck, it's OK. Sure, it'll be hard. We may get pricked my cacti, trip over a rock and cut our knee, or just tired and thirsty, but in the end, as long as you have the perseverance to push through, it'll be OK. Do not give up. As long as you're going in some direction, you're bound to end up somewhere. I'm not saying to be stupid or foolish, but just keep going.
After that moment of being stranded, I went back and found the trail. Mainly because I had been wondering off the trail for 45 minutes earlier and knew I was running out of time. Plus, there had been another path I had seen before and wanted to explore that one. So I did, and it turned out to lead me to straight to the top of the mountain. It was a good moment and I felt proud. I still prefer staying on the trail, but after all my non trail exploring, I was now able to maneuver the trail much easier and could see the trails much clearer. At the end of my adventure, I felt proud and satisfied and wanted to come back again. I could also now say I knew the mountain range pretty well and felt way more confident coming again. I can honestly say I'm ready again for another hiking adventure. :)
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