Everything is out of control....

Everything is out of control.

Then again, it normally is. In fact, in our normal and daily lives, whether we realize it or not, nothing is in our control.

Scary, isn't it?

The weather isn't in our control, the people around us aren't in our control, and heck, even our own hearts aren't in our control. Rain comes and goes, people come and go, and our own feelings arise and leave without our consent. And yet, it seems as a human race, we are constantly fighting this. We build houses to protect us from the weather; we read and write psychology books to try and figure each other out and especially ourselves. Just think about how many things we measure and analyze: most of us have our schedules planned out to the minute; the back of all the food packages have the nutrients, ingredients, and calories calculated out; and we place plants in places where they normally wouldn't grow.

Part of it is because we want to be more efficient and productive. We want to get the most out of life and make things as wonderful and perfect as possible. Why risk perfection when you can guarantee it?

But the thing you have to realize is, no matter how much you plan and prepare, you can't guarantee anything. You can't guarantee that your party will go according to plan, or that your husband/wife will stay with you, or that your house will still be standing there at the end of the day. Life happens, and it happens at you quickly and unexpectedly. You have to expect change and accept it.

I was thinking about all of this as I was reading Ezekiel in the Bible. Have you read Ezekiel? Man oh man, does that prophet go through some crappy and crazy stuff. After reading that, I seriously was like "I never want to be a prophet." It's insane what Ezekiel has to do and go through. In chapters 3 and 4, God pretty much makes him go mute and lay on his side for 390 days. He also has to eat food off of human poop. HUMAN POOP!! Ezekiel then points out to God "Oh, but I haven't eaten anything to defile me." And God replies "Good point. You can eat it off of cow poop instead of human poop." I mean, COME ON!! So I get the symbolism and that Jerusalem has been very bad, but still; poor Ezekiel.

So I continue reading Ezekiel and the recurring phrase is "Then they will know that I am the Lord". I feel like this is not only a continuous theme in Ezekiel, but throughout most of the Old Testament. God usually has to do very unexpected things, sometimes good and sometimes bad, to get people's attention and say "LOOK! I'm GOD. NOT YOU. You have no control. You are a HUMAN." And as I thought about this, I felt it to be a very true, but hard lesson.

One of the first lessons I learned before I ever became a Christian was how very little control and power I had over things. I saw how easily my own life could just slip away, and then began to see how easily the lives of my loved ones could disappear as well. I think this is something my family has begun to learn as the kids are moving out and the dynamics are changing. Anytime I come home now, all 5 of us do our best to be together and spend time with one another. We don't usually do anything fancy or super fun, just watch movies and have dinner together and talk with one another. We're all very loyal to one another and if you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. So as time as gone on, we've come to really value our time together, soaking up each minute of it and not wasting a second.

It's funny because when I was younger, I think I planned on doing all sorts of traveling and living in different places. But as I've gotten older, I can't help but feel that maybe I'd ultimately like to stay close to family and have opportunities to visit with them often. We shall see what happens though. I really don't have that much control over it.

Another lesson I learned was how very little power I did have. I couldn't control my surroundings, the places or people. I wanted everyone to be happy, but people often get upset or hurt. I wanted circumstances to change, but my words or actions couldn't even make a dent. My own power was so limited and I felt like my life was just a mere whisper in the wind when I wanted it to be a tornado, or at least, some kind of shout.

While my limit of control and power over things seems disgruntling, it's also relieving and freeing. I have very little power, which means there isn't much pressure to understand everything and get everything right. I'm human and not a god. I'm especially not THE God. And thank goodness I am NOT God! I'd have to figure all sorts of things out, like how the sun will keep burning or how the earth will keep rotating or who goes to Heaven or how I'm going to get hair to grow out of people's heads. (Read Job. It will humble you!! Especially Job 34-40). That's a lot of pressure and involves a lot of heart ache too because people will reject me if they don't like what I have in store.

The good news is: I follow the one and only God. And the one thing I can count on in life is His presence. I can count on that He knows everything and has everything in control.

The next big question is though: Do I trust Him? Do I trust that He really loves me and wants the best for me? When I'm going through hard times, will I really believe that this is for the best? Because it is after that, that's when we can rejoice no matter what trials or events we go through, because we believe and know that God will take care of us. Do I really and truly trust and believe in Him?

Do you?